Wednesday, September 11, 2002

I awoke from a terrible dream this morning. I was alone in the house and all my possessions, which are currently in the basement for storage, were scattered all over the driveway and partially in the garage, stacked as if they were ready to be taken somewhere. Two cars pulled up and two guys emerged from them. I had gone outside to see what was going on. When they got out of the cars I asked them what the hell they were doing and they said taking the stuff. I grabbed a rope or something (it may have been a jump rope, which is odd) and started to strangle one of the men screaming for someone to call the police. Within a minute or so, a cop car pulled up and I ran for cover and one of the guys took out a gun and was shooting at whatever it was I was hiding behind and then he came up over the top and shot me in the back, although he didn't really shoot me. It was weird. The next thing I remember was they were gone but all the stuff in the drive way was still there and there was now a race car and a construction vehicle out side. The next thing I heard was an explosion. I looked out the window in the direction it came from and there was a plume of flames and smoke over where the beach is. Shortly after there was another explosion. I woke up sweating and couldn't go back to sleep. That was one of the freakier dreams I think I remember having. I'm sure it has to do with today's date and the news of yesterday and that sort of thing. Creepy shit.
I was just looking at some space pictures on and it made me think of something. If you look at the vastness of the universe, and see that we are just on a itty bitty, teeny weeny bit of it, and that we are killing each other to control and even smaller amount of the itty bitty teeny weeny bit, it really seems quite stupid. I mean of course in many ways without the universal perspective, it seems quite stupid too, but I think it exaggerates the inane behaviours we have as humans. We're here on our little speck in the universe killing each other over strips of land and over ideas, many of which are religious. Now, unless someone can prove that there really is a god or that one religion is the "right" one, it seems extremely pointless to me for innocent people to die because of a thing that may not even exist.
Personally I'm not sure what I believe. In many ways the scientific part of me thinks that unless you can prove that there is some being or thing that created everything and made up laws and stuff to live by, I can't believe it. That religion is just something that was created to answer questions people couldn't answer, to set up rules to live by, and to help people comfort themselves. But there's the humanistic part of me that wants to believe that there is some sort of good power out there that is behind things. Although that does make it harder to understand why, if it is a good power, bad and terrible things are allowed to occur. I just don't know what to think about it all.

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